Not only are they a wonderful funeral home, but they are incredible people as well.
Saturday morning Judy Lawrence came to the hospital to pick up Isaac's tiny little body right from my hospital room.We all walked out of the hospital together that day
and for that I was so grateful.
and for that I was so grateful.
Isaac had spent the night before swaddled in the hospital bassinet between my husband and I, just as we had with all of our other children the night after their births.
This was the time that we were given to spend with our son and we absorbed every moment of it. We held him, talked to him, took pictures of him, and memorized everything about him.
We talked of how he looked just like Owen did when he was born, how handsome he was, and how he had his daddy's nose and ears. He had big feet, big hands, and a lot of hair.
He resembled a skinny old man but looked as though he would have been a big boy by birth.
It was such a heartbreaking moment to hand over our little boy to be taken away to the funeral home. In that moment I was so grateful to know who I was handing him over to and that he was in safe hands.
We walked down the hospital halls and parted ways. I reached out to the bag that carried my sons tiny body and feared that at that moment I might totally lose my grip on reality.
This was the first time that I was separated from him since he was conceived and that thought that he wasn't coming home with us was too overwhelming to even comprehend. It was that moment that my heart shattered in a million tiny pieces and I realized that
life as I knew it would never ever be the same again.
A piece of me died with him that day.
The funeral home allowed us to have a small private time for our immediate family to come and meet Isaac for the first time, hold him, and say their goodbyes.
It was such a celebration of life and everyone embraced the opportunity to spend the time that we had with him. He was held, and rocked, and loved on, and memorized.
We took pictures and shed tears.
Our family minister came and said a prayer for Isaac and for our family.
Each one of Isaac's siblings held him and studied him. They asked a lot of questions about him and gave him a lot of kisses. They wanted to know why he couldn't open his eyes and why we couldn't take him home with us.
Owen broke my heart.
He was so worried about leaving his baby brother at the funeral home.
"He will be all alone and what if someone takes him?!," he said.
My mother's heart broke for my son.
I reminded my sweet Owen by asking him,
"Where is Isaac?"
"Is he here?"
"No." Owen replied "He is in heaven with God."
Everyone left the room at the end of the evening leaving my husband and I to say our final goodbyes.
We held him and rocked him. We kissed him and memorized him just a little bit longer.
And then I sang to him his lullaby that I had planned to sing to him every night as I would lay him down to sleep for the last time.
Then we did the most difficult thing that I have ever had to do in my entire life...
to say goodbye and to let go of our son.
As quickly as the tears fell I remembered that he was not there, just as I had reminded Owen moments earlier...
For he was already in the arms of God.
A sense of peace filled my heart as we drove home for I knew that
he was already home.
(A special thank you to Stroud Lawrence Funeral Home, Judy Lawrence, Brian Rotenburger for making this transition as easy as possible for our family.)
No comments:
Post a Comment